Wednesday, April 10, 2013

March Crapness: Flailing Four (April 10)

Holy carp! March Crapness is reaching a fever pitch. Or it's at least almost over so we'll stop spamming you from the safety of our Facebook page.

But first, take a look at the matchups and pick the team(s) you think should face off to become Internet Crapcan Grandmaster Nonpareil, a title that can only The Rusty Hub can crown. (Not because of any copyright laws, really, but because no one else would ever think of such a silly title that every team left in the tournament would want, we're sure.) Enough of my ramblings...

We stop counting votes at 10 a.m. EST tomorrow.

Please note that there will be a short turnaround for the third-place matchup, during which we will bestow some other whimsical-but-not-quite-as-awesome title upon its winner.

[Editor's Note: If you run into any trouble with the polls, contact and I'll look into it ASAP.]

Go to the March Crapness tab for the full rundown, up-to-date bracket and schedule.

Read the introduction to March Crapness here.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for updates. Tweet about March Crapness using the hashtag #crapness.

[Extra-special thanks to Murilee Martin for assisting with many of the photos. All photos as credited.]

Three Pedal Mafia (10) vs. The Cannonball Bandits (1)

Three-Pedal Mafia - Honda Civic Wagovan, Sea Sprite (Chevy S10), Rolls Royce, Triumph TR7

After some races behind the wheel of a Honda Civic Wagovan, Three-Pedal Mafia upped the ante by dropping a boat hull over a Chevy S10 frame. It's not a fast combination, but the S10 has proved itself unexpectedly reliable several times over in crapcan racing. (Murilee Martin photo)

Chevy S10s have done well in the Index of Effluency hunt and Three-Pedal Mafia's S10 is no exception...except it is because the team pitched its silly truck bodywork and the S10 frame is instead clad with a 1971 Sea Sprite. The boat and its nautically themed crew sailed it to an IOE at New Jersey Motorsports Park and allegedly forayed into the experimental sport of paddockskiing (No longer allowed, according to the LeMons fun police). Next up on Three Pedal's plate: A Rolls Royce for 2013.

Resume: LeMons - 1 Index of Effluency  
First Round: def. Time Travelers of Doom 47-10
Second Round: def. Bucksnort Racing 61-15
Sweaty Sixteen: def. Tetanus Racing 123-116  
Effluent Eight: def. Team Tinyvette 147-131

The Cannonball Bandits -Toyota Supra, Toyota Corolla FX16

The Cannonball Bandits bring a sense of well-planned absurdity and a refreshing disregard for political correctness to racing. They're also reasonably fast on the track, but have typically finished mid-pack. (Murilee Martin photo)

In their latest incarnation, the Bandits raise money for charity with their Rockstar Toyota Supra while hanging out scantily clad in the paddock area (At your own risk, see an example here.). It's a sight to behold, but the four-time Organizer's Choice winners have exhibited a great spirit for excellent themes, from the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile replica to a tribute to Tiger Woods' fidelity issues to the border-crashing Canadian-trafficking "box truck" and complementary Border Patrol car. This team's passion for ridiculousness may be unparalleled in the crapcan world.

Resume: A well-earned reputation for turning LeMons into a circus
First Round: def.Eyesore Racing 106-61
Second Round: def. Team Sensory Assault 105-2
Sweaty Sixteen: def. Team -Ing With Bad Ideas 162-141 
Effluent Eight: def. Cerveza Racing 84-38

Three Pedal Mafia vs. The Cannonball Bandits free polls 

NSF Racing (11) vs. Killer ZomBees (8)

NSF Racing - Plymouth Fury, Plymouth Barracuda, Mercedes 170, Mercedes 6.9, Dodge Aries, Honda CRX, Chrysler Saratoga...Basically, all of the cars 

NSF Racing loves the old Mopar and their decrepit Plymouth Fury limped its way to an Index of Effluency and occasionally to the LeMons Penalty Box, mostly for the car itself just being dangerous. (Murilee Martin photo)

NSF remind us that, like YouTube, LeMons has a weird section that people periodically stumble into. NSF started out innocently with some econoboxes before diving headfirst into that aforementioned weird part. Characteristics of NSF entries may include (but are not limited to): decrepit, obscure, dangerous, awesome and on fire. Maybe the most impressive initiative on their very long resume is passing on their K-Car wagon in a sort of Sisterhood of the Traveling Fails manner...not that we've read that book or cried at seen the movie or anything.

Resume: LeMons - 2 Class Wins, 2 Indexes of Effluency
First Round: def. Nutjob Racing 43-10
Second Round: def. MR2 Biohazard 58-24
Sweaty Sixteen: def. Rally Baby 233-161 
Effluent Eight: def. Duct Tape Motorsports and Team Petty Cash through Internet absurdity

Killer ZomBee -MG MGB

The ZomBee really does resemble the undead from certain angles. Many have tried to campaign British metal in crapcan racing, but none have succeeded in the way that Pete Peterson has. (Murilee Martin photo)

What can you say about Pete Peterson's weary old MGB? It famously flipped but was rescued by Peterson's magic hammer and has since gone on to win Index of Effluency and Class C at separate races. His ZomBee also earned the 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year award. The best part is...well, there are a lot of best parts: The car is Peterson's daily driver, the motor is borrowed, its tow/pit support vehicle is a crappy RV named Brownie, Peterson has driven the MG more than 900 miles to race it and--perhaps most frighteningly--it's a British car that runs most of the time.

Resume: LeMons - 1 Index of Effluency, 1 Class C Win, 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year, Peterson's daily driver
First Round: def. Team Operation 58-3
Second Round: def. Keystone Kops 104-76 
Sweaty Sixteen: def. Tunachuckers 166-43 
Effluent Eight: def. Schumacher Taxi Service 69-23

NSF Racing vs. Killer ZomBee free polls 

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