Sunday, March 24, 2013

March Crapness: First Round, 7 vs. 10 (March 24)

Today brings the 7 vs. 10 seeds with a sprinkling of podium stalwarts and top-notch paddock rats.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: We'll be using Google for the polls from now on. You may notice that you can vote multiple times. DON'T DO THIS. We get a log of all vote and WILL NOT COUNT ANY VOTES WHERE YOU'VE STUFFED THE BALLOT BOXES (even though we live near Chicago).]

Go to the March Crapness tab for the full rundown, up-to-date bracket and schedule.

Read the introduction to March Crapness here.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for updates. Tweet about March Crapness using the hashtag #crapness.

[Extra-special thanks to Murilee Martin for assisting with many of the photos. All photos as credited.]

Time Travelers of Doom (7) vs. Three-Pedal Mafia (10)

Time Travelers of Doom - Pontiac Fiero

From what we know of them, Pontiac Fieros are basically Ferrari 458 Italias:They both have an engine in the middle of the car and a reputation for catching on fire. The Time Travelers of Doom have brought theirs to races all over the country, racking up two Class C wins. (The Rusty Hub photo)

Pontiac Fieros carry a bad reputation for catching fire, which is admittedly undeserved. However, the reputation for being slow, ill-handling and prone to failure is well-earned. This makes the Time Travelers' two Class C wins all the more remarkable, although this battered old Fieros has found itself at races from Texas to New England and all points in between.

Resume: 2 Class C Wins, 2 Top Tens

Three-Pedal Mafia - Honda Civic Wagovan, Sea Sprite (Chevy S10), Rolls Royce

After some races behind the wheel of a Honda Civic Wagovan, Three-Pedal Mafia upped the ante by dropping a boat hull over a Chevy S10 frame. It's not a fast combination, but the S10 has proved itself unexpectedly reliable several times over in crapcan racing. (Murilee Martin photo)

Chevy S10s have done well in the Index of Effluency hunt and Three-Pedal Mafia's S10 is no exception...except it is because the team pitched its silly truck bodywork and the S10 frame is instead clad with a 1971 Sea Sprite. The boat and its nautically themed crew sailed it to an IOE at New Jersey Motorsports Park and allegedly forayed into the experimental sport of paddockskiing (No longer allowed, according to the LeMons fun police). Next up on Three Pedal's plate: A Rolls Royce for 2013.

Resume: LeMons - 1 Index of Effluency  

Ghetto Motorsports (7) vs. Bust-A-Nut Racing (10)

Ghetto Motorsports -Mazda RX-7, Chevy Malibu

Ghetto Motorsports has dominated High Plains Raceway, walking away three-for-three in LeMons races there. (Murilee Martin photo)

Ghetto Motorsports' RX-7 has won all three LeMons races at High Plains Raceway in Colorado and nabbed another race podium for good measure. To counter their proclivity for light, nimble sportscars, the eastern branch of Ghetto Motorsports campaigned a massive, growling 1978 Chevy Malibu in several races that actually competed for the overall lead at times. However, the team is allegedly replacing it with another RX-7.

Resume: ChumpCar - 1 Top Ten; LeMons - 3 Wins, 4 Top Tens

Bust-A-Nut Racing - Mazda MX-6

Nothing to see here. Just a typical day at the office for Bust-A-Nut Racing. (Murilee Martin)

It's unlikely that Bust-A-Nut will ever nab an overall win, but it's equally unlikely this will ever bother the team much. They seem to take as much enjoyment out of turning their MX-6 into increasingly grotesque and well-executed caricatures of a car. For their first trick, the mounted a heavy-metal-tinged Santa's sleigh--complete with reindeer--to their whip.They then turned it into an extremely convincing scale replica of the Goodyear blimp before making their car into Mr. T. Did we mention this car is registered and driven on the street, too?

Resume: A legacy of what must be the largest "aerodynamic" elements on any race car ever.

Rally Baby (7) vs. The Eh! Team (10)

Rally Baby -Audi 4000, BMW E30, BMW E36, AMC Hornet, Mercedes 450SL

Rally Baby's 1975 Mercedes 450SL is one of the best-looking crapcans of all time, a product of rampant depreciation in Malaise Era German luxury coupes. Who knew? (Murilee Martin photo)

In the space of about a year, Rally Baby Racing evolved from a team campaigning a surprisingly good Audi 4000 to the LeMons version of an autonomous collective with a driving roster of approximately 274 people driving a bevy of German machines in 2012 while simultaneously heading toward a collection of automotive oddities for 2013. Look for strange and terrifying things from Rally Baby in the near future.

Resume: LeMons - 1 Top Ten

The Eh! Team - Honda CRX

The Eh! Team's CRX has seen it all in ChumpCar and then some, racking up a few thousand race miles on the car's original motor, defying a lot of common crapcan wisdom about the endurance racing reliability of Honda motors (Eh! Team photo)

The Eh! Team turned up at ChumpCar's original race at Portland International Raceway in 2009 and have hardly missed any race in the Pacific Northwest since, allegedly putting more than 15,000 kilometers of racing on the car's motor before the odometer quit working. We're no mathematicians, but we think that's the distance to Jupiter or something like that (Did we mention that we failed the Metric System unit in third grade?). They've since put a new motor in it, but they tote the old one to races still as a backup. In their pseudo-space travels, the Eh! Team has racked up a number of Top 10 finishes.

Resume: ChumpCar - 7 Top Tens

Hong Norrth (7) vs. Mealtime Racing (10)

Hong Norrth -Mazda MX-3

Hong North's matching MX-3's (Trons Am in the front, Sumbich in the back) have enjoyed a long run of domination in LeMons' South region, winning every race they entered in 2011 and scoring four podiums in two races in 2012. (Murilee Martin photo)

With 6 wins in their last 7 LeMons races, it's hard to think of a more dominant team in any form of motorsports. If gambling on LeMons races was a thing, Hong Norrth would be a smart play in just about any race they enter. The team's Mazda MX-3s look great at night, too. In a great act of community, the Hongs lent their car to the community at the 2013 LeMons season opener, allowing teams who've helped them succeed take a turn in the MX-3's hot seat.

Resume: ChumpCar - 1 Top Ten; LeMons - 5 Overall Wins, 9 Top Tens

Mealtime Racing -Honda Civic

It may look fairly unassuming, but the MealTime Civic is not only a very competitive ChumpCar, it's also a kitchen of sorts. Through some clever tuning, the team used the exhaust manifold to grill post-race goodies. (MealTime Racing photo)

Another Canadian powerhouse, MealTime has snagged three wins, seven podiums and 11 Top Ten finishes, but that's not all. They also rigged up their engine bay to grill sausage while they turn laps. Their grilling success isn't always perfect, but sometimes, their plan comes together. During the last stint of their race at Toronto Motorsports Park, MealTime threw some doggies onto their manifold grill. They crossed the finish line in first place and amazed the victory-lane onlookers by pulling perfectly cooked sausages out of their engine bay and tasting the spoils of success.

Resume: ChumpCar - 3 Overall Wins, 11 Top Tens

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